Avatar

The first teaser for Avatar looked super cheesy, no? Like the rest of America, I made a lot of Jar-Jar Binks jokes.

Dan and I decided to see it anyway. It was incredible.

Most of it is CGI, but on a level of realism I've never seen. You really forget that these are just actors in silly-looking motion capture suits in front of a greenscreen; their facial expressions and stuff are just so detailed and dead on. The world that Cameron created is incredibly beautiful, and the 3-D enhances everything and makes it, well, real.

The story is very basic - good guys near-saintly, bad guys pure evil. But hey, it worked for me. Sigourney Weaver was an unexpected treat as hard-boiled superscientist Dr. Grace Augustine! And there's only about ten minutes of ubercheesy schmoopie dialogue, total. So if you're looking for meaty dialogue or relatable stories of personal growth, you should probably go see Up in the Air. OTHERWISE, see this. It was different. I hadn't seen different in a while.

Our Landlord's Deck

One of the fun things about moving is giving tours of your new apartment to all your friends. We start with the private entryway, stand and chat in the hall for a few minutes, and then show off our giant bedroom. Then we breeze through the living room (less giant), stand around and marvel at all the wasted space in the kitchen, and solicit ideas for pieces of furniture to put in the bathroom (Dennis suggested a chaise).

One popular stop on the tour is when we instruct the visitor to look outside the bathroom window and down onto our landlord's amazing deck. It's huge, gorgeous, and boasts several space heaters. We've never seen anyone out there. One day, though, while marveling at this unused treasure, something strange was noticed.

Do you see it?

Let's zoom.

You guys! The deck is just a place where their dogs shit! WTF?!

And that concludes our tour.

Good Spender

Remember how in an orgy of consumerism I purchased two pairs of shoes from J. Crew, intending to return the pair I liked less?

Well, they came.

And I love them.

How could I choose?

Both of them.

So I'm keeping them.

As penance, I will get rid of three pairs that I already own and never wear.

Eventually.

This Is Real

This month's Golf Digest cover (for real.  This wasn't made up by a Gawker commenter or anything):

Something tells me Michelle would not appreciate 8 of the 10 tips Obama can take from Tiger.

Shoeage

What's that, wedding industry?  You wanted me to buy stuff?  FINE.  I'LL BUY STUFF.

In order to get my dress hemmed, I need to decide what shoes I'll be wearing.  I was thinking of wearing ones I already owned, but whatever.  I need new shoes anyway.

I started with these:

Just kidding, they sold out of my size.  Sadly.

So I ordered these two:

The bluey one is my favorite, obvs, but they only had a 6 1/2 and I'm a 7.  But I ordered it anyway.  These shoes run big, maybe?  And then I will choose the one I like in the privacy of my own home/in front of everyone at the office.  Or maybe I'll just keep them both!  Why not?  IT'S MY DAY.

Meltdown

Yesterday I had a bridal meltdown.  I've had a couple, but this was the first where someone bore witness.  It wasn't pretty.  It began during the workday, resulting in a nasty, ranting blog post that I thankfully never published, took a break during our office holiday party (the party and its tub of queso deserve a post unto themselves... um, it was not a macrobiotic day), flared back up during said party when someone asked me about wedding planning (to my nowhere-near-getting-engaged friend: "Oh my God.  DON'T DO IT."), and then ended with me weeping on the couch as Dan tried to make sense of the blubbering, flailing mess he had agreed to take on as a life partner.

So, some things need to change.

One is that I try not to blog about the wedding at all, because this isn't a wedding blog and people consumed by their weddings are lame and annoying, but the wedding is currently a big part of my life and I feel stifled.  So I'll be doing some wedding blogging.  It's MY BLOG, guys!  I can blog about searching New York thrift stores for glass candlesticks to use in lieu of floral centerpieces if I want to!  I think that having a written outlet will help me get my wedding craziness out into the ether and more importantly, out of my head.

Two, I need to take breaks from party planning and talking about party planning.  My mom and I have had some tension lately, and I think part of it is that really, all we talk about is the wedding.  We have other stuff to talk about.  So I should probably limit talking about the wedding to every other day.  Maybe every three days?  I'm not sure that's realistic.

Three, I just have to go with it.  Part of me thinks that we rushed into deciding on a big (well, not that big... hence all of our guest list drama... but big to me), fairly traditional wedding, but that's what we're doing, so from here on out, I will stop it with the ambivalence and embrace it.  It's going to cost money.  Lots of it.  But we've decided to part with it, so... I should spend it on stuff and not be my usual penny-pinching cheap-o self and also stop driving myself crazy looking for the absolute lowest price for everything.

So I will buy stuff.  It's ok.

Starting with these?

Only $1,926 (sale!) at NeimanMarcus.com.

Macrobiotics, Bitches!

Yaaaaay.  I'm still on my Crazy Diet, if by "still on" you mean "on when I happen to be eating a healthy meal right at that exact moment."  But actually it's ok.  Last week I had several light-headed moments but I didn't cave!  Yes!  Starvation!  As I told Blondie, I became insanely sensitive to salt, felt uncomfortably close to British Emily from The Devil Wears Prada when she doesn't eat anything but the occasional cube of cheese, and would take a shot of maple syrup when I was feeling um, dizzy.  Surprisingly effective!

I had some detours.  Yaf was in town and we went to Dirt Candy, which was fantastic, and last night Dan got back and we went to dell'anima for his birthday.  It was um, not light.  Worth it though.

And now I'm eating last week's macrobiotic leftovers for lunch!

?

I try not to be a) mean about or b) envious of other people's weddings.  I'm sure that people will find plenty to complain about and/or covet from mine, right?  And one of the things I wanted was a dress that isn't particularly timeless or classic.  Like, I want to tell my kids, "Don't worry, it was very stylish back then."  (That's what I got. You can see it later).

But do you think that's what Caroline Kennedy was going for, back in the day?

Hm.  If that's the case... I might have to rethink this.

Crazy Girl Week!

We had a great Thanksgiving (Mom had the brilliant idea to go to the Short Hills Hilton for Thanksgiving brunch, thereby eliminating all cleanup after gorging ourselves on mashed taters and the crab claw table).  Dan's mom came for the In-Law Meeting, which went well, and we all spent most of the holiday cooing over the three Foster Kittens of Cuteness.

Then Dan left for Mexico.  Family vacation at an all-inclusive resort.  So, naturally, while he spends the week feasting on chips and guac, make-your-own-omelet-bar omelets, and pina coladas, I am going to do what any sensible girl does in my position: go on a Crazy Diet!  Yaaaaaaay!

Crazy Diets are not like Healthy Eating Plans, which are, as Emily Gould is correct in saying, boring.  Crazy Diets, on the other hand, are sooooo fun to obsess over and overshare about with everyone you know.   Then said everyone you know tells you how you shouldn't try to subsist on almond milk smoothies because you're perfect just the way you are!  Upon hearing this encouragement, I like to smile serenely, shrug, and take a spoonful of cold raw-vegetable soup.  Hey, we all have to get our kicks somehow.

I've tried many a Crazy Diet - almost all? - and so: this week's Crazy Diet will be a combination Master Cleanse, GOOP Detox, and Blueprint's newest diet-disguised-as-"Oh I'm just being healthy"-diet, "Juice 'Til Dinner."  Oh, plus coffee.  Crazy Diets take misery to the next level by eliminating caffeine.  Maybe that's what makes them Crazy?

Anyway, I have to do it this week because Dan said that if I do a Crazy Diet while he's around, he'll break up with me.  Have fun in Mexico, my love!