My Day Is Better Than Yours

So far, at least. We began with breakfast at Norma's at the Parker Meridien.

"Want to go to Norma's???" Dan was so excited. "Pancakes are like $18!"

I had "Super Cheesy" French Toast with Giant Crispy Parmesan Hazelnut Wafer and Best Breakfast Potatoes Ever That Look Like Tater Tots But Delight By Tasting Like Little Feather-Light Potato Flavor Bombs. So sneaky. It was delicious. I was in such a good mood, I had a little bit of smoothie containing... dare I tell you? What the hey. Why not. Banana. I ate banana. Then we saw smiley dogs that look like bears.

Waltzed into work. Email about Lincoln Center Theater benefit reading of The Sisters Rosenweig, starring Edie Falco, Stockard Channing, and Christine Freakin' Baranski. Would I like a $20 orchestra seat?

Call and make a reservation at the Del Posto Enoteca, for a mysteriously underpriced 4-course Mario Batali feast at 7:30, so we can catch a 10:35 showing of The Lives of Others. No problem.

Confirm my success in getting the boss's 2 children passports in one day; with my efforts, they will all go on vacation tomorrow, and I will leave early!


Beat that, beetches!

And We're Back

I love coming back from vacation. I have pages of GFY to peruse, a DVR chock full of Extras reruns, and I look all tan and awesome... did I mention I was on vacation?








Dan also saw a Phil Jackson lookalike. It was very exciting.

Working Girl

You know how when couples get pregged they tend to keep it quiet for a while, just in case they lose it or it fails the Corky test so they can avoid all the awkward crying questions? It's kind of like that with me and the job search. I really just never want to talk about it. Remember when I didn't get the job at Bruckheimer? That one hurt.

Anyway, I'm going to throw caution to the wind today---goodbye, caution, there you go! Fly! Be Free!--- and tell you that I had an interview today. I think it went well, but really, who the hell knows anymore. I'll let you know how it goes.

But not before Wednesday, because I'm leaving for Mexico. Yeeeeeah, rubbing it in. Later, kiddos!

Number Nine... Number Nine...

Check it out!


A brand-new ladies' cigarette, just for me!

So light! So luscious! Makes me want to reach for a Lucky, instead of a sweet!

In seriousness, the box is quite aesthetically pleasing. Too bad its designer is going to HELL.

Criminal Minds

So you know Criminal Minds? It's that show on CBS.

No, no, not Without a Trace, it's that other new-ish crime procedural for old people, along with Cold Case, Close to Home, and NCIS. No, it isn't a CSI; it even was beating Lost in the ratings for a while. Think!

Come on, people, it stars Inigo Montoya, whose father you killed, so prepare to die. And Shemar Moore, who used to play Hot Malcolm on The Young and the Restless, who almost died inthe mid-nineties when a bridge collapsed in Africa and then showed up to no one's surprise seven years later, miraculously unharmed. (You know how I feel about The Y & The R).

CRIMINAL MINDS, PEOPLE. Anyway, it's on tonight, and my genetically gifted friend Walter is playing the Corpse (But Alive In Flashbacks) of the Week, and my making fun of the show for having fans who take fiber supplements is really just a pathetic attempt to mask my petty jealousy. You should watch. Hot Walter and Hot Malcolm in the same 43 minutes (plus commercials)? Happy Heart Day, indeed.

Life, Etc.

Okay, so I would totally drive upholstery tacks into my eye sockets if I had to keep this temp job forever, but sometimes--like right now, when I've just gently told Sirio Maccioni that my boss is not available because she's screaming at her decorator about a snafu with the tiles while accepting a Starbucks that someone brought in for the hell of it--it's pretty sweet.

End The War NOW (But... You Don't Have To)

So I open my AP report this morning and see a seriously stirring lead about today's Congress session.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi will lead the way Tuesday as the Democratic-controlled House embarks on an extraordinary debate over the Iraq war, declaring that the public has decided that President Bush's policies "have not worked, will not work and must be changed."

Accompanying it, a picture of Madam Speaker, looking fiesty. She won't let this continue! Nancy Pelosi will STAND UP for ME.




She didn't sit through that blow-dry for nothing.

Seriously, we're getting our cable and DVR today, and I was about to call Schimndsey and ask her to set it to C-Span for the rest of the day.

Then I read on.

A vote is expected by Friday on a nonbinding measure that opposes Bush's recent decision to increase the number of U.S. military personnel in Iraq while pledging support for the troops already there.

...
...

...oh.

Why do we even have a Congress?

The Puker

We're going to this party tonight called "The Puker."

It's at Sutton Place, where I have been once and, you might be interested to know... puked.

In their kitchen.

There is a lot of excitement.

Banner Moments In American Culture

Remember how when Kenneth Lay died, you were like, "well that sucks. His family gets to keep the cash and he'll never have to pay for being a gigantic fuckwad," even though he died, it's not like he won or anything, but you still had trouble feeling bad?

Well, Anna Nicole Smith has left us today. It is the buzz of the office.

And... that is all.

Ich Bin Ein Bears Fan

It was a sad and glorious day for Dan yesterday, as his beloved Bears capitulated to the fact that yes, Rex Grossman is their quarterback, and affirmed, with melancholy, that no Super Bowl ring will touch a hand that loves Coldplay.

Yet all was not lost. Although the party's Suicide Wings forced tears from many a man, no eyes leaked for lack of fun. Or beer.

And honestly, who cared about the game when there was a Puppy Bowl to be watched from 3 to 6, encoring at both 6 and 9? Nine hours of puppy play. Plus Kitty Halftime. Heaven. Basically. That shit cures cancer.

-

Most of the weekend was spent moving. Schmindsey and I performed our 2007 Festivus Feat of Strength in advance, purchasing a couch from an immaculate German couple at 108th and Amsterdam and transporting by lonesomes downtown and upstairs to our Williamsburg walkup, straining forearms in the process. I revisited my youth at home in Jerz, squeezing through attic crawlspaces in search of free furniture. Mother took us to Ikea and helped carry the flat-packed shelving units home, looking out the window at our sketchy-looking-even-though-it-really-isn't neighborhood and starting to cry. Oops.

Schmindsey's thinking maybe she should hold off before her own mother visits

Hoopla! Weekend!

It's Moving Weekend!

Schindsey already went into a cleaning frenzy and scrubbed the apartment from fridge to tile gromit, and today I go to Jersey to collect The Family Minivan and go to Costco. Dan's coming to help...*

And then we move!

*..buy more Twizzlers.

Family Fun Times

Two great family funtime articles today:

1. Harry Potter’s Final Act Is Set for July 21

OMG. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!




Some people pretend they know for a fact that Harry will bite it, because they are mean. Or dumb. I know J.K. has said publicly that she wouldn't mind Harry dying, just to ensure that no other writer attempts to use the character, as if her billionaire ass couldn't get a decent copyright infringement lawyer. Believing Harry might die at 17 is akin to believing Tony was going to die at the start of season six, and I absolutely didn't believe that for a even half a second, not even when Steve Buscemi kept inviting PurgaTony "inside," nosirree... anyway.

July 21st. I am excited. I am 12.

2. Posing as a Family, Sex Offenders Stun a Town

Residents of Surprise, AZ got a nasty one when a twelve-year-old named "Casey" turned out to be a 29-year-old man! Who molests children!

Surprise!