Family Project/Damn You, MTV

So apparently Laguna Beach has infiltrated north-central Jersey, because the kids, these days, they are doing big production numbers to ask their chicas to prom.

Exhibit A: Brother Blotto. Has a girlfriend. Girlfriend likes cookies shaped like hippopotami from the Woodland Bakery. Brother BAKES HER A GIANT ONE HIMSELF. Mother must go buy the special purple sugar from the bakery; Meghan is called as a consult for the icing.

I didn't think you even had to ask your girlfriend to the prom. Isn't that kind of the point in high school? But it was very cute.


She said yes.

TeeVeeeeeeee

Yeah, so I can't blog about work (I don't know that I can't, but I like my job, so I won't) so I can't write about meeting Kenan Thompson at the SNL after-after and how he was seated on a dais and it was exactly as I'd imagined, or about how John Krasinski was on the third floor and I totally missed him, the latter not because it would get me fired, but because I am still upset about it.

Anyway, last night I realized that I genuinely enjoy Dancing With The Stars. Does that make me terrible? I don't know. I almost taped The Bachelor again, too, but it conflicted with Heroes. Which I don't even watch. My DVR queue is a mystery even to me, people.

Here's my beef: no show is getting better. Grey's is going back to its first season suckage, Liz and Jack are fighting on 30 Rock, I'm the only person I know caught up on BSG, and there hasn't been a new How I Met Your Mother in weeks. Planet Earth is awesome and all, but I can watch baby elephants die for only so long.

Get ON IT, WRITERS. Don't make me take your jobs. Heh.

Oh, Great

Supreme Court Upholds Ban On Abortion Procedure! OMG! AWESOME!

You know, I actually have little problem with the ban as written. At that point, have the kid and give it up, you've made it this far. I do have a problem with the traction this gives anti-choice fucktards and the total bans they just love to pursue.

Mmmm, Sanitary

Pop quiz; pick out the worst.

a) Having seriously unflattering photo of oneself serving as a plate in the New York Times Dining section, when one is an aspiring top model.



b) Said NY Times Dining section promoting body sushi mere weeks after reviewing Robert's Steakhouse at the Penthouse Executive Suite (two stars).

c) Body-temperature sushi.

Ok

So in light of this whole engineering building massacre, I am going to focus on the positives in life. Three things a day.

1. The Sopranos are back, and that whole Cleaver bit was more or less perfectly done.

2. I have all my teeth.

3. Grace looks great in tie-dye.




My LORD babies in tie-dye are cute.

What's Up, Cho?

You couldn't've just shot yourself first?

Hope you're enjoying hell.

Easter Was Fun

There was honey ham involved, of course it was great.

Also Marty laid some eggs.

Thanks, IMUS

So I've been a Jon Corzine fan since high school. J. and I would run past his giant house that one trimester when we actually went running after school, and even though he didn't even pretend he could've won his Senate seat without more or less purchasing the election, I thought he had some good ideas and an attractive stick-it-to-'em demeanor. And I'd heard that when his aides advised him to shave his beard because it makes him look Marxist, he told them to F off. Yeah, Jon!

I was less excited about Jon leaving the Senate for Trenton, but what can you do. I still like the guy. And now he's been in a hit and run, while heading downstate to talk to Imus and the Rutgers team.

Thanks, IMUS. Your show was NEVER FUNNY ANYWAY.

Oh, and you hit and run driver--- rest now while you may.

The Jell-O, It Is Gross

So Meghan and Schmindsey's 2007 Eggstravaganza/Housewarming was a basically bloodcurdling success. Check out the artistry:


And the merriment:



And the food:


(Yes that is creme brulee in a bucket + ck's breakfast because he showed up a half hour early still drunk).



Speaking of food, let's get out the cucumber Jell-O! In the end, "Johnny" Marnell was the first to muster up the stones to try it. And then we took turns.






And then we threw it out, as it was "fucking disgusting."


And then things kind of devolved.

Tax Time

I like that tax time makes me feel productive. I sit down with my W-2s and pay stubs from my myriad employers and a calculator and everything takes enough time that I feel I've accomplished something, while doing nothing actually difficult or impressive.

I'm less wild about the figure I get when I add up those W-2s and 1099-MISCs. How do I live?

Aunt Meghan!

Baby Grace! She is here!

Whoa!

Work is crazy! I have little time to absorb mucho information. Will be back soon, promise, with updates on the Meghan/Schimdsey Blotterific Housewarming and The Cucumber Jell-O: Update.