Asia's Next Top Non-Felon

Remember that glorious first season of America's Next Top Model? When the prize was a contract with Wilhelmina, the judges went by Polaroids, and the panel was obviously held in a hotel room? When half the contestants were born-again Christians and the pudgy beauty queen made it to the top five? God, it was amazing. I remember early in my friendship with Dennis, we watched it all on DVD. And there was one particularly entertaining girl who would pick on everyone: Elyse.

Here she is in their "Maxim" shoot, which was funny because she isn't very Maxim (has thoughts, uses mouth for talking and eating, etc.). I believe Tyra was "blown away" by the photo, a phrase that she did not yet use once a week as she does now (I assume. I stopped watching after cycle 5. Maybe? The one where whatsherface won. I honestly don't remember).

Elyse came in third and now works regularly as a model in Asia. She maintains a very entertaining Livejournal with lots of pictures of streetmeats and awesome outfits. Also, she and her boyfriend, who's in The Shins, got arrested last week for beating each other up. Here she is on her way to court:

You really gotta love a former reality show semi-star who

a) avoided dating Bobby Brady and

b) brings dark chocolate M&Ms to her court date.

(Charges were dropped).

My Friend ck Is A Hobo

And you thought I was kidding.

Primary Concerns

So the primaries have been rather exciting so far, no? Hillary! Barack! Hillary! Barack!

Whatever. I could go with either. I think, issues-wise, Edwards is my favorite (I have come very close to forgiving him for his "Hello Mr. Cheney, allow me to serve myself up on a platter" '04 vice-presidential debate performance), but I'm not entirely certain why he's still in the race, like, c'mon dude, it's... it's not happening. But it's refreshing to not hate most of the candidates.

But therein lies the rub.

I don't necessarily hate McCain (and although I'm not really sure who'll win the Primary That Matters, I'm less divided on the GOP), but I think that's a problem. I think McCain could potentially win, based on that whole "strong moral fiber" and "character" and "not totally psychotic/retarded/evangelical" thing, and that... is not good. I don't care if Liz Lemon likes him. He's like, totally conservative.

Also, The Devil Wears Prada is on HBO and it makes me want to go to France.

Doodle My Dandy No More

Elephantine-minded readers might remember my New Haven Tour of Gluttony a few months back, where I enjoyed a cheeseburger and grilled doughnut before eating 2 lbs. of fries and most of a pizza.

Well, the pizza's still there... and the fries...

But...

THE DOODLE!!!!!

I didn't even go to school there, and cannot wax poetic on hungover mornings etc., but you guyyyyssss.... this is terrible!

NC

Cackalackey!


Haunted some old sites.



Did some shopping.



Bothered Matt.


How I've missed thee, First in Flight!

Weird

Had super-busy week-- left my job, visited Matt at Elon, tried (unsuccessfully) to help Mom talk her way out of a Virginia speeding ticket, flew to Denver to see Christina, Andy, the cousins and (let's be honest, here) THE BABY, had a great time, started my new job, made a turkey meatloaf, and all I can think about right now is Heath Ledger. I think I've loved him since he walked out of his audition for The Patriot, feeling dissatisfied and saying he was wasting everyone's time. Boy had talent.

Ummmmm I'll post some baby pictures later. I also happen to have a personal video that is possibly the most precious seven seconds ever committed to digital. She's realllly cute.

Beacon's Closet

Like 90% of my neighborhood's residents, I am devoted to Beacon's Closet. Beacon's is a huge secondhand clothing store that is organized by color. It's horrible for those easily overstimulated, but great for people who like $21.50 Manolo Blahniks, $18.95 Diesel jeans, etc. Most of the merchandise is cast off from people in the neighborhood, so you know it's only a few steps behind the "cutting edge" of "hip and trendy"!!!! (I just got evicted for writing that). And in terms of Beacon's, I am a square. The truly octagonal don't even buy stuff there, they just bring in their clothing collections and trade them in. I hope someday to be so forward, but for now I just pay money.

Beacon's is the place for when I really, really want to buy something and can't in good faith spend more than $17. I got all my work jackets there (I theorize that work clothes aren't worth spending money on, since the new shit is just as hideous and boring as the gently used, which may be why I am not a corporate executive). But I usually hit a Beacon's wall. It's around the time I've tried on the 18th ill-fitting Catherine Malandrino dress and 14th incredibly-awesome-looking no-label backless thing (shirt? dress? scarf-dress?) that I cannot in good faith wear outside because I am just not that badass, that I get depressed about being unable to wear this awesome-looking badass thing, and then I just leave or buy it anyway, just to, you know... have. And then before I know it I own a kelly green halter dress with a neck down to my diaphragm and two jumpsuits, none of which I have worn outside.

But man, the jumpsuits look good.

New Job

It's happened. Nine months at NBC (see, now that I'm not going to be there anymore, I can write that down! I worked at the NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY. You heard it HERE. Um... I liked it. Not too much trash to talk) have led to a quasi-dream job. So my last day here is Friday, I'm taking a week off, and then I start my next step-of-the-career at a different but similarly large cable media company in New York.

I've known for a little while now but it didn't seem real, so I didn't tell anyone. Smooth, right?

I feel very happy and grateful.

I Ate Chicken Knees

Oh dear.

Yakitori Totto.

It's a restaurant.

According to New York:

Although yakitori means "grilled chicken" (usually on a stick), the time-honored working-class Japanese food that is the featured dish at this second-floor Midtown restaurant is taken beyond its usual place as street fare with the restaurant's use of premium chicken. Seated at the bar or at a row of small tables in one of two dining rooms, the predominantly Japanese crowd favors its grilling done in the traditional manner (i.e., not cooked all the way through). If rare poultry makes you nervous and you don't want to look like a timid American by ordering it well done, the menu extends beyond chicken kebabs, with noodles and soups, tofu skewers in a dark miso sauce, and a smattering of seafood. Most dishes seem designed for accompanying drinks, especially shochu and sake, which, for their part, can make negotiating the steep one-flight staircase down to the street something of an adventure as well. — Ethan Wolff

The thing is, Yaf is an "adventurous eater." He's the one who's like, "let's find the shadiest possible Indian place with 4-cent curry whose spiciness will remove your socks yet linger with you as the best meal of your life!", whereas I am more "Let's go to the mock-shady place that's actually more expensive but makes you look cool." So I was getting all macho when I ordered the "Soft Knee Bone" on a stick.

You guuuuuyyyyyysssssssssss.

It was GROSS.