Doesn't it feel like The Conrad Chronicles have been going on for a decade? I was about to write, "Wow, I can't believe Laguna Beach was 9 years ago," when I realized it debuted in mid-2004. But what's next for Lauren Conrad and Friends, besides a guest spot on The Hills should it somehow survive for season two? I'm sure they'll think of something.
I don't watch the show, but their trailers have always been brilliant. This might be the best one yet.
2.27.2009
AGAIN?
Shortly after I graduated high school, a teacher was arrested for banging three students during my senior year... including an eighth grader. I think he's still in (white collar) jail. No one could understand it, because Mr. Barniak was a) dating a fellow teacher at the time and b) pretty hot. I guess everyone has their issues. I was sad for my school, because KP instilled in me a serious belief in all-girls education and got me through teenagedom in one piece, but not altogether broken up, because neither I nor any of my friends had ever had him as a teacher. We had kind of unusual relationships with our instructors at KP. For instance, I visited Alcatraz with my favorite teacher, in a manner that would've raised all kinds of eyebrows if he weren't gay.
But now THIS.
Former Kent Place teacher charged with sex assault on student
by Mark Angeles/The Star-Ledger
Thursday February 26, 2009, 3:19 PM
A former teacher at a Summit private school who also served as a Minister of Music at a Short Hills church was arrested earlier this week and charged with sexual assault for an alleged relationship with a 15-year-old girl.
Warren Halsey Brown, 67, a music teacher at the Kent Place School for nearly 15 years until October 2008, was where he met the victim in September 2007, police allege. It appears their relationship turned sexual in September 2008, said Union County Prosecutor Theodore Romankow. Brown continued his relationship with the victim through activities outside of school for a period of several months.
An investigation was launched after the victim's parents became suspicious and notified police.
School officials have cooperated with the police during the investigation, said Romankow, and authorities have spent the last several days searching records and computer files related to the case.
Brown was charged with one count of first-degree aggravated sexual assault and one count of second-degree sexual assault, according to Romankow and Summit Police Chief Robert Lucid.
Earlier in his career Brown taught at both Columbia and Drew Universities and spent the last 20 years as the Minister of Music at the Community Congregational Church in Short Hills, a post he recently vacated. He was also the Choir Director and Organist at Temple B'Nai Jeshurun in Short Hills.
Prosecutors charged Brown with a first-degree crime because he clearly abused his position of power over the victim to conduct the relationship, Romankow said.
"It seem that arrests like these are becoming all too common," said Romankow. "To abuse a position of power and manipulate a young person into an inappropriate relationship is reprehensible."
Chief Lucid said, "a case like this reminds all parents, guardians and responsible adults to keep a careful eye on minors and the relationships they hold. Any suspicious behavior should be reported."
Brown is being held at the Union County Jail on $275,000 bail and is expected to make his first court appearance within the next few days. The prosecutor's office will provide specific details when they become available.
Anyone with relevant information is urged to contact Summit Police Department Sgt. Thomas Rich at (908) 273-0051 or Prosecutor's Office Detective Patricia Gusmano at (909) 965-3809.
I spent a lot of time with Mr. Brown. Actually, my memories of Mr. Brown are pretty great. I learned a ton about music from him, and probably more importantly, discipline. Even though it was "just" singing, there was always an expectation that we could push ourselves farther, and that we would push ourselves farther, until it was the best it could be. Which, of course, it never was. Is this why I always feel like I'm no working hard enough? Like, if I stop to eat or I'm not like, half-dead from effort, I think I'm slacking. The arts aren't the best training for moderation. I digress.
I hope this isn't true. And that's all I have to say about that.
But now THIS.
Former Kent Place teacher charged with sex assault on student
by Mark Angeles/The Star-Ledger
Thursday February 26, 2009, 3:19 PM
A former teacher at a Summit private school who also served as a Minister of Music at a Short Hills church was arrested earlier this week and charged with sexual assault for an alleged relationship with a 15-year-old girl.
Warren Halsey Brown, 67, a music teacher at the Kent Place School for nearly 15 years until October 2008, was where he met the victim in September 2007, police allege. It appears their relationship turned sexual in September 2008, said Union County Prosecutor Theodore Romankow. Brown continued his relationship with the victim through activities outside of school for a period of several months.
An investigation was launched after the victim's parents became suspicious and notified police.
School officials have cooperated with the police during the investigation, said Romankow, and authorities have spent the last several days searching records and computer files related to the case.
Brown was charged with one count of first-degree aggravated sexual assault and one count of second-degree sexual assault, according to Romankow and Summit Police Chief Robert Lucid.
Earlier in his career Brown taught at both Columbia and Drew Universities and spent the last 20 years as the Minister of Music at the Community Congregational Church in Short Hills, a post he recently vacated. He was also the Choir Director and Organist at Temple B'Nai Jeshurun in Short Hills.
Prosecutors charged Brown with a first-degree crime because he clearly abused his position of power over the victim to conduct the relationship, Romankow said.
"It seem that arrests like these are becoming all too common," said Romankow. "To abuse a position of power and manipulate a young person into an inappropriate relationship is reprehensible."
Chief Lucid said, "a case like this reminds all parents, guardians and responsible adults to keep a careful eye on minors and the relationships they hold. Any suspicious behavior should be reported."
Brown is being held at the Union County Jail on $275,000 bail and is expected to make his first court appearance within the next few days. The prosecutor's office will provide specific details when they become available.
Anyone with relevant information is urged to contact Summit Police Department Sgt. Thomas Rich at (908) 273-0051 or Prosecutor's Office Detective Patricia Gusmano at (909) 965-3809.
I spent a lot of time with Mr. Brown. Actually, my memories of Mr. Brown are pretty great. I learned a ton about music from him, and probably more importantly, discipline. Even though it was "just" singing, there was always an expectation that we could push ourselves farther, and that we would push ourselves farther, until it was the best it could be. Which, of course, it never was. Is this why I always feel like I'm no working hard enough? Like, if I stop to eat or I'm not like, half-dead from effort, I think I'm slacking. The arts aren't the best training for moderation. I digress.
I hope this isn't true. And that's all I have to say about that.
2.25.2009
Ew
Hosea wins Top Chef?! I am now soooo over this show. When I'm 80-90% sure that I can cook nearly as well as the winner, it's done. Oh, lord. He's such a dick.
And while I used to like Casey, I will not forgive her for all the Carla sabotage.
And while I used to like Casey, I will not forgive her for all the Carla sabotage.
I Can Has Cheezburger?
Willis suggested we turn the tagteam of TM and Marty into LOL Cats. He was right.
You can recaption it, if you like.
You can recaption it, if you like.
2.22.2009
Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch...
Terrymittens and Marty unite forces to destroy the squirrel and his taunts.
2.20.2009
Recall
Last year, my DVD player stopped recognizing discs, around the same time that Schmindsey and I were overtaken with a sudden desire to watch movies. All signs pointed to "buy a new one even though yours is basically new," until I did a little Internet searching and discovered a recall. The Toshiba customer service people were almost suspiciously nice, and within three weeks I had a new player. Lesson: recalls rule.
More recently, my discontinued PowerBook's battery stopped holding a charge. Basically, Apple prducts are your flaky friend who is so fun to go out with, who treats you like their BFF when you're together, for whom you would do any crazy favor, and who only returns your phone calls every two months or so. Apple prducts are so seductive. They ingrain themselves into you. And they make you miserable with their faulty hardware and deplorable customer service. The answer to "My iPod only works for ten minutes at a time, what should I do?" shouldn't be "Buy a new one." And yet, I remain.
But! In an effort to locate a new battery, I turned to Google and lo and behold! My particular brand of lithium-ion battery seems to, on occasion, start fires. Recall! New battery (MSRP: $129 plus tax and shipping), is free. Suck it, Apple.
(All this Googling also begs the question - recalls aren't new. How did they work pre-Internet? How on earth would you ever know?)
More recently, my discontinued PowerBook's battery stopped holding a charge. Basically, Apple prducts are your flaky friend who is so fun to go out with, who treats you like their BFF when you're together, for whom you would do any crazy favor, and who only returns your phone calls every two months or so. Apple prducts are so seductive. They ingrain themselves into you. And they make you miserable with their faulty hardware and deplorable customer service. The answer to "My iPod only works for ten minutes at a time, what should I do?" shouldn't be "Buy a new one." And yet, I remain.
But! In an effort to locate a new battery, I turned to Google and lo and behold! My particular brand of lithium-ion battery seems to, on occasion, start fires. Recall! New battery (MSRP: $129 plus tax and shipping), is free. Suck it, Apple.
(All this Googling also begs the question - recalls aren't new. How did they work pre-Internet? How on earth would you ever know?)
2.18.2009
Brandon On Late Night*
*webisode
Brandon, who was a page at NBC with me, is now the audience coordinator for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Congratulations, Brandon! Here he is with the man himself, to tell you all about how you can get tickets for the show:
Also, if you decide to follow the instructions in the above video and obtain tickets for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, please, please, when you show up, listen to Brandon and follow his instructions. As a former audience wrangler, I can tell you that seating people have very sensitive BS meters, and if you try to pick up your friend's ticket for him, even though he might not make it in time, by saying he's in the bathroom: you'll be sitting in the back. We see your lies.
Also, if you decide to follow the instructions in the above video and obtain tickets for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, please, please, when you show up, listen to Brandon and follow his instructions. As a former audience wrangler, I can tell you that seating people have very sensitive BS meters, and if you try to pick up your friend's ticket for him, even though he might not make it in time, by saying he's in the bathroom: you'll be sitting in the back. We see your lies.
2.17.2009
Impulse Buy
If you are my friend, you know that I'm super cheap. I just am. Maybe it's an Irish thing; I don't know. I've gotten a little less cheap now that I make more than eighteen thousand dollars a year while living in New York City, but I still (for an American lady) don't buy a lot of unnecessary stuff.
But sometimes you just come across a display of Sesame Street-themed New Balance sneakers (on sale) at the Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg, Illinois, and you think to yourself, gosh darnit, the economy needs my cash, I love Oscar the Grouch, and think about all the money I'm saving on rent now that I live in sin! And then, after accepting the fact that you fit into child-sized shoes, you make the greatest impulse buy in the history of ill-considered purchases.
I promised Dan that I would get rid of two pairs of shoes to make room for these new beauties. Have a yucky day!
But sometimes you just come across a display of Sesame Street-themed New Balance sneakers (on sale) at the Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg, Illinois, and you think to yourself, gosh darnit, the economy needs my cash, I love Oscar the Grouch, and think about all the money I'm saving on rent now that I live in sin! And then, after accepting the fact that you fit into child-sized shoes, you make the greatest impulse buy in the history of ill-considered purchases.
I promised Dan that I would get rid of two pairs of shoes to make room for these new beauties. Have a yucky day!
2.09.2009
Maya Says...
WHAT WHAT AMY POEHLER. You thought you were all that, rapping on Sarah Palin a week before you delivered?!?! I'm gonna get on stage with Kanye and L'il Wayne THE DAY I'M DUE! And I'm gonna wear a black-and-white sexy bumblebee costume with my glaucoma glassesssss!!! Sticks and stones and bleeding bonesss paper planes powa powa mothaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!
2.04.2009
Amazing Celebrity Mag Filler, Like The Most Amazing Filler Ever
If all celebrity mags had more features like these, I would probably have to subscribe.
2.03.2009
OK Computer
I've never been a huge Radiohead fan, or a Radiohead fan at all. They have a great name, true, but Radiohead fandom requires* hunkering down for the whole album and (although I didn't realize this in college; it makes so much more sense now) getting high. That's time that I could spend making vadouvan or some ridiculously complicated chocolate dessert. When people wax rhapsodic about Amnesiac and their mind-altering experience with it, I just wrinkle my nose and explain that too much Radiohead makes me want to slit my wrists. I say this because other, more knowledgeable people have said it to me, and so I unfeelingly pass off this feeling as my own. Is it true? How would I know?
Still, I have three of their albums on my iPod (so if I run into Sean, my most intimidating hipster music friend, on the train and he demands to go through my mp3 player, he'll be distracted by it and not see, say, Taylor Swift's "Love Story" that I recently... ugh, this is embarrassing... purchased), and I still have a to unpack a bunch of stuff, so I put on OK Computer, and now, seven songs in, I have a knot in my stomach and want to cry quietly on the couch.
So: I was right.
*okay, not everyone who listens to Radiohead is a pothead, but those who aren't are those manic-eccentric types who just seem baked or drunk or tweaked eighty percent of the time anyway. I have several examples in mind, but would feel bad listing their names here. I'm such a good friend.
Still, I have three of their albums on my iPod (so if I run into Sean, my most intimidating hipster music friend, on the train and he demands to go through my mp3 player, he'll be distracted by it and not see, say, Taylor Swift's "Love Story" that I recently... ugh, this is embarrassing... purchased), and I still have a to unpack a bunch of stuff, so I put on OK Computer, and now, seven songs in, I have a knot in my stomach and want to cry quietly on the couch.
So: I was right.
*okay, not everyone who listens to Radiohead is a pothead, but those who aren't are those manic-eccentric types who just seem baked or drunk or tweaked eighty percent of the time anyway. I have several examples in mind, but would feel bad listing their names here. I'm such a good friend.
Lose It!
So, after the whole Goop detox thing, after which I lost like a pound, I've been going to the gym and trying to eat sensibly, lose weight the old fashioned way, blah blah blah. Disclaimer here: I am aware that I am not a Shamu-like fattie. I just want my pants to fit right.
First, I had to do something about my Chipotle habit. Oh God, I love Chiptole. Last weekend we had a discussion about which restaurant you would choose if you had to eat from one place for all eternity, and after a general agreement that every place would get old, we kind of agreed on Chipotle. Anyway, I eat at Chipotle once or twice a week, on the days I don't bring lunch, and Chiptole is just not good for your ass. The day they had to post their calorie counts was a terrible blow to my delusions of healthiness, but even then you could still mislead yourself, as they only post a "range."
"If I don't get barbacoa plus extra cheese/guac/sour cream/salad dressing, it's like eating air!" I thought.
So today I found a website that calculates calories for all the different options. Yeah. No more cheese for Meghan, no matter how wee the handfuls are.
I also put the Lose It! application on my Touch, which is kind of like a Weight Watchers points calculator. Sincerely, it's very helpful. I also had no idea where the calories are coming from. Yesterday I was all proud because I was under my calorie count until I factored in a glass of wine. Oops.
Then I saw the 398 calories from my breakfast granola.
Don't worry. This isn't going to become a diet blog.
But I am going to change my breakfast food.
Oh, and in case you were planning on a Chipotle burrito with the works:
| Nutrition Facts | |||||||||||
| Amount Per Serving | |||||||||||
| Calories 1240 | Cal from Fat 495 | ||||||||||
| % Daily Value* | |||||||||||
| Total Fat 53g | 82% | ||||||||||
| |||||||||||
| Cholesterol 135mg | 45% | ||||||||||
| Sodium 3070mg | 128% | ||||||||||
| Total Carbs 128g | 43% | ||||||||||
| |||||||||||
| Protein 64g | |||||||||||
| |||||||||||
| |||||||||||
| INGREDIENTS: Fajita Veggies,Lettuce,Tomato Salsa,13" Tortilla,Black Beans,Corn Salsa,Cheese,Sour Cream,Guacamole (4oz),Steak (4oz),Rice,Green Tomatillo Salsa | |||||||||||
WTF
OMG high-ranking Democrats. WTF is going on with the G-D taxes? Does ANYONE pay their taxes? Anyone? BUELLER? Do these people think that no one will find out about their illegal nanny and whatnot once they accept a post for high public office? JESUS CHRIST, PEOPLE. THINK.
2.02.2009
If They Try To Make You Go To Rehab... Just Say Noooo Nooooo Noooooo
That was a really terrible post title. I apologize. But it's what I want to say to Michael Phelps! He must really hate digital cameras:
Really? Dude is 23 and took a bong hit? Knock me over with a feather, people. If Phelps is going to apologize over a picture, it should be for this monstrosity:
...ouch.
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