Uh Oh

My family started fostering kittens.  (Basically, our local shelter has too many kittens, so my parents are taking care of them until they're ready to be adopted, and will also face the formidable challenge of not becoming obsessed with them and refusing to give them back).

Um... they're cute.

Yeah.

(If you're in the market for one of these ridiculous cuties, they'll be up for adoption in a month or so).

Your Daily Gaga Briefing

Does anyone else have trouble telling Lady Gaga apart from Christina Aguilera?  

And how do you think Christina feels about that?

Something Rotten In The State Of American Girl Place

ATTENTION, FEMALE READERS!

(If you're a dude, this will be of no interest to you.  Sorry).

I was reading about the newest American Girl, Rachel, who lives with her Russian-Jewish family on the Lower East Side in 1914.  She's been endorsed by all the important Don't-be-Anti-Semitic groups and the American Girl people are very excited about selling her tenement accessories for an obscene markup, and if I were still 10, I would be hassling my parents for her nonstop.

But something in the picture of existing AGs seemed off.

Can you tell me what it is?

Look carefully.

THERE'S NO SAMANTHA.

Yeah.  So I went to the AG website, and what do I find?  Besides the fact that you can now buy Molly's British frenemy, Emily, and Samantha's impoverished sidekick, Nell?

SAMANTHA IS DISCONTINUED.  I need to buy it all out for my unborn daughter like, right now.  Samantha is the flagship American girl!  WHAT IS HAPPENING???

(It has occurred to me that I could just give my unborn daughter my own Samantha doll, which was purchased before American Girl was sold to Mattel and saw a steep decline in workmanship.  But AGs aren't really for sharing).

Every Weekend A Wedding, Part Two: Ronit & Matt In NYC

Halfway through wedding season, and it isn't even June.

(Yeah!  Evening gowns on the subway!)

Matt is one of Dan's friends from his college ultimate team, and now that I think about it, a big reason that we're currently dating.  If Matt hadn't organized a trip to LA in January 2006 for a tournament with the alumni team (well... I think he was the organizer), Dan and I would have never had our magical "Uh, I barely know you but I thiiiiink we're meant to be together" weekend that started our relationship.  Anyway, he married the lovely and amazing Ronit (seriously, she's one of the bubbliest people in the world) this past weekend, and Dan and I were invited.  Matt's family is apparently known for their epic parties, so we were pretty stoked.

We were right to feel this way.

Check out the room! 

The ceremony and reception were at a raw studio space that they transformed with lighting and florals and modern furniture and whatnot.  The chuppah was absolutely stunning.  I would totally live in that chuppah.  Ronit's grandfather is a rabbi and officiated the ceremony - tearjerker move - and there was also a lot of indie music involved.  Doesn't Dan look adorable in his borrowed yarmulke?

After the ceremony, we made our way to the cocktail hour, and were immediately bombarded with bar snacks.  Waiters carried trays of tiny hamburgers, cones of fish and chips, tuna tartare, and latkes.  "Sweet," I thought, "what delicious passed hors d'oeuvres!"  Then we turned a corner and saw that there was also a Chinese-food station, a giant crudite table, a specialty beer bar, and an endless sushi table, complete with two sushi chefs constantly replenishing the raw fish supply.  Open sushi.  Yeah.

I managed to keep it together and only eat say, one meal's worth of sushi, although in retrospect I kind of wished I'd kept going.  How often do you get the opportunity to find out exactly how much nigiri you can handle?

The cocktail area was decorated almost entirely with these giant pomandors.  I loved it. 

As you walked through the hallway, you could see a small army setting up the main reception area.  Blonde girls with clipboards officiated as everything was placed just so.

After we moved into the main room, Matt and Ronit entered and did a really cute, choreographed dance, followed by the hora.  They looked so happy.

The cake was spectacular.  See?  Wasn't it spectacular?

It becomes even more spectacular when you learn the flowers are made of SUGAR.  SUGAR.  I'm still confounded.

Ok, those last flowers are real.  There were flowers everywhere, and a crazy professional lighting grid that kept everyone awash in flattering gels.  There was a photobooth, and Dan and I took some crazy unflattering pictures in it.  There were little lounge areas on the side of the dance floor, so you could chill without going back to your table.  There were kamikaze shots.  There were purple pomandors, which people started chucking at each other until the dance floor was a graveyard of mums.  I drank prosecco all night in an effort to avoid another dry-heaving incident, and overall, there was a lot of fun and love.  Although this was one of the more elaborate parties I've ever been to, the best part was the absolutely beaming expressions of the couple (okay, and the dancing.  And the sushi).  Congratulations, Ronit and Matt!  We're very excited to hang out in Brooklyn with you.

There's Nothing Ironic About Show Choir

This show was essentially designed for me, so it shouldn't be a shocker that I liked it:

(I'm not sure how long the pilot'll be online, but there it is for now).  Glee, as you might imagine, is about a high school glee club.  It features Jane "Hey, It's That Lady!" Lynch in a hopefully permanent supporting role, which is always promising.

And, best of all, lots of cheesy-ass musical numbers.  

I worry, however, that the 98% of the population that isn't embarrisingly into musical theater won't get the delicious hideousness of a poorly performed "Sit Down You're Rocking the Boat," or Lea Michele, star of the boundary-pushing rock musical Spring Awakening singing "On My Own" for an audition.  You don't ever sing "On My Own" for an audition, guys!  Any diva knows that!  It ranks right after "Tomorrow" and "Castle on a Cloud" with songs unacceptable to perform (after age twelve) anywhere other than your shower or the car.  Aw.  I miss performing.

Anyway, it's a promising pilot, especially since even good pilots traditionally blow chunks, and I'm excited for its full season this fall.  If you haven't seen it, it's on Hulu and free on iTunes (I watched it on my iPod!).

Wedding!

My camera started working again... somehow... so I have pictures!

We got all dressed up.

I didn't take pictures at the ceremony, because I wanted to really pay attention and engage etc.  It was a great ceremony-- funny and touching.  And then the party began.  Our table was CANS!

And then there was dancing.  Lots and lots of dancing.

Also... lots of drinking.  I may have booted the next day, but it was totally worth it (although at next week's wedding, I may lay off the vodka sodas).

Once the wedding ended, the party continued at the bar next door.  I think it's a successful wedding when the bride has a Bud Light in her hand by the end.

Congratulations, Carlie and Mike!

Triumph

We went to a wedding this past weekend, kicking off Dan And Meghan's Weekends Are Booked Until The End of June.  It was a freaking fantastic, fun, fun time.  Pictures later, because I think my camera's broken.  Canons take good pictures, but I'm thinking they don't last so long?  My first one lasted less than a year; this one a year and a half.  I'll be looking into durability for my next one.

Oh, anyway, I was looking at my link list over lunch and realized that I haven't checked Julia Allison's blog in over a month.  I am removing her.  This is such a triumph.

And She Prepares To Leave Us Once More

Remember how I posited that Lady Gaga is an alien making the friendly rounds of neighborly Earth?

I think I was right.  Only I think she's getting ready to head back to Gagardanon.

At least, that's what she told Ellen.

Literary Status

Yesterday, an acquaintance from college wrote this on Facebook:

L-------------- wants to know what you think about Infinite Jest. not what everyone says you should think about it. i'm considering it for my next book to read, so comments are welcome.

And I was like, ugh, I tried reading that after college and it was miserable.  I believe at one point, after someone suffocates after some burglars tape his mouth shut without knowing that he has a cold and can't breathe through his nose, I just chucked it off the bed and returned that 15-pound fucker to the library.  At the time, I was very busy wallowing in the fact that I didn't have a job, and so obviously had no time for reading a long and challenging postmodernist masterwork.

So I replied that I gave up on it, but if she could finish it she'd get total bragging rights.  Then I figured I should provide her with some alternatives.  My first thought was The World Is What It Is, a jaw-dropping biography of V.S. Naipaul (seriously, check it out).  Then I was like, "what am I reading now?  Maybe she'd like whatever's currently on my desk."  

It was the fourth Twilight book.

I should not be recommending anything.

Pictors

For a couple as absurdly good-looking as Dan and I, we have remarkably few cute pictures of the two of us.  Either Dan is blinking or I look squinty.

Anyway, we went to Jerz for Mother's Day, and Scotty got one gem of us and one of the ladies.  Good times.  

TREK

SEE IT.  It was so funny.  So fresh.  So energizing.  I went with a notorious I-fall-asleep-at-the-movies guy and he toooootally stayed awake.  The cast fairly crackles with energy and hotness.  I'm not a Trekker, but I think if I were I would have loved it even more.  Yet dorkiness was not a prerequisite.  Also, the first time the audience burst into applause during Trek was when John Cho had a crazy swordplay moment.  It came out of nowhere and seeing Harold as a badass warmed my heart. 

Anyway, go see it.  Good times.  Way better than that Wolverine monkeyturd movie Dan and I allegedly saw last week, but cannot confirm 100%, as neither of us remember a single thing about it.

Kabab Factori

A while back, Dennis invited me out with some of his friends to the very shitty-looking but secretly awesome Kabab Factory.  We drank a bunch of BYOWhite Wine out of plastic cups and had a great time.  DK's back in town and invited me again, only this time with an additional party: the elusive, storied MAO.  I've heard much about this apparently flawless creature, but have never met her (but, due to Dennis's blog, feel as though I know her fairly well.  Thanks, Internet!  I feel creepy).

 Dennis:  yay

it will be the same people

and you will finally meet MAO

for that reason alone you must come already

 me:  oh god

will the world explode if i meet mao in person?

bc at the moment i'm not sure she's a real person

 Dennis:  haha

 me:  but a digital avatar

 Dennis:  yes she is like Simone

i constructed her from my imagination

equal parts beauty and awesomeness with a touch of crazy

 me:  hahahahahaha

SIMONE

you are the ONLY PERSON who remembers that movie

oh wait according to imdb it was really called S1m0ne

 Dennis:  yes

i OWN it

i own chinese bootleg that didn't work

ok

see you at dinner

write a blog entry about how you will finally meet MAO

the end

So apparently, tonight I'll meet the model that Dennis hired to impersonate his online creation, and experience the ultimate in digital diaspora.  Did that make sense?  No, but it sounded cool.  Also, I feel super shady blogging about someone (besides a celebrity, obv) I don't know, so I'll stop now.

Also, speaking of celebrities, Mindy Kaling got a seven-figure deal to develop her own NBC sitcom while continuing her stellar work on The Office.  Ordinarily, news of someone close to my age getting paid exorbitantly to do my dream job would both enrage and depress me, but this is the exception!  I hope that Mindy's sitcom is awesome.  I hope she becomes the next Larry David, and after experiencing wild success with her show, does yet another awesome, cultier show on HBO, thereby prolonging her stature as a comedy goddess.  The main drawback here is my sneaking suspicion that her blogging, while never prolific, will now cease entirely.  Boo.  Also, I'm not sure she'll have time to be my best friend.

World's Not-Quite-First Face Transplant

One of the earliest recipients of a face transplant had a press conference today.  

Okay, I know.  I had the same initial reaction as you.  It wasn't nice; she looks like Senator Kelly in the first X-Men movie.  But come on - the poor woman's husband shot her in the face.  IN THE FACE!  And not with little Dick Cheney bullets.  Here's the before and after.  There is, in fact, an improvement.

 

At the press conference, she told a heartbreaking story of a small child pointing at her pre-op face as proof that monsters are real.  Apparently, as she heals, they'll start trimming back the excess, uh, face.

Good on you, Connie Culp.  Excited to see you in another six months.

Recent Happenings: Cragannukah 2009

Cragin requires a week to properly celebrate her birthday, and what better daytime excursion than pub golf?  In case you've never played pub golf... you pretty much dress up in plaid on a pub crawl.  Cragin made scorecards as well (1 drink = 3 strokes, 2 drinks = 2 strokes, 3 drinks = 1 stroke; par per watering hole was 3).  I dug out an old polo, but unfortunately discarded my prep school duds of yore  several closet purges ago.  I knew I should've held on to those khaki mom shorts.

Good times.  Happy birthday, Cragin!