Evil Joys

So, there's a girl from college for whom I have very intense dislike. Maybe I refer to her as a horsey-faced ho. I only said maybe! JK, I totally do. When her dad came on this show I used to work at, I told the entire staff about how his kid is a big ole slut, and the glee I took in it was worth looking completely unprofessional. Whatever. She knows what she did.

She has two best friends I'm not wild about either.

Anyway, Whorseface got married last weekend, and I saw the pictures on Facebook. And it RAINED! God straight-up pissed all over her not-so-perfect day.

I know my happiness is petty and immature, but I choose to allow myself this teaspoon of evil.

Also I hope her husband's up to date on all his shots.

Tomorrow!

The kitties get fixed tomorrow! Because we're going away for the weekend, we'll pick them up from the Jersey homestead on Monday. That way my family can have one more weekend before we forcibly rip them out of their arms. Yaaaaaay!!! Oh I'm so excited.

In other news, the shirtlessness on True Blood is really out of control. I'm going to have to do a weekly True Blood Abdominal Roundup with some screen captures. Let's start with the runner-up from this past week's episode, Jason Stackhouse.

Yes, I said runner-up. It's a very muscular show. I mean, the above scene is at a church retreat! You can imagine what it's like the vampire lair!

Summer Friday

Summer Fridays are quite the best. I sauntered down Bleecker and bought myself a lobster (I was really jonesing for a lobster roll but I can only go to Pearl once a quarter). They didn't have any already steamed, as is ideal for making your own Bun o' Deliciousness, so I bought a live one and had the dude um... take care of it. If you're even slightly squeamish and/or feel that there's a better way to prepare your sea bug than by boiling it alive, I highly recommend this plan. Anyway. I also opened a new checking account during my afternoon off, but that's neither here nor there.

Lobster rolls are so freaking good, you guys! I made my lobster salad out of tail meat and homemade mayonnaise with a little extra lemon juice and salt and pepper. It would've been even better with chives and a little celery. I didn't have any hot dog buns, so I browned a sandwich saver and loaded it up.

(Sandwich Savers are grossly processed and stay fresh for an uncomfortable amount of time, but they're like 100 calories and they taste so good!)

It was delicious. Best of all, I have enough lobster salad left over for another. It was basically a large, scrumptious snack. I think I'll have some marinated kale salad and then see if I'm up for round two, which I can eat while watching half of The Dark Knight on HBO, before going to look for a dress for wedding #4 at Beacon's! Oh MAN I love summer Fridays!

Top Hat

Thing is, I still love the Fug Girls, and obviously they're going to make fun of Lynn Collins here, who was apparently in Wolverine but I remember literally nothing about that movie even though I saw it a month ago, wearing a top hat. And yes, it's kind of ridiculous to go around in a top hat.

But am I nuts for thinking she looks pretty good in it?

To-Do

At work, I keep a running list of to-dos and random notes on a yellow pad at my desk. Pretty standard. I just glanced at my current list:

1. bone more women

2. dump in yo in pants?

Weekend of Many Happenings

On Friday, Mom figured that it was high time Dan and I saw the kittens, and that we should have some last-ditch family bonding before Matt goes to work in Maine for the summer. It was decided that the family would come into the city, have a delicious lunch at the "fun" restaurant of my choosing, and then head back to New Jersey for some feline fun. Dan would come later, we'd hang out on Saturday, and then have a quiet night before Justin and Arielle's wedding on Sunday (#3 of 4 for the summer). LOTS TO DO, PEOPLE.

So, Friday. I was stressing a little about what restaurant to choose. Something cool, but that wouldn't have a wait. Good food, but not too expensive. Accessible, but not pizza. Vegetarian-friendly, but not Pure Food & Wine. It was so silly of me to stress, when the perfect choice was right down the street: Moustache!

Moustache has the best hummus on earth. Oh man. And the family liked it! Hoopla!

Then we beat the traffic home to play with the kitties. Dan and I fell hard for them. They are currently a little over one pound each. They scamper adorably and tussle with each other. They sleep together like a little yin-yang! Oh, and I don't give a shit if you're allergic, or if you're a "dog person." I LOVE these babies and I don't want to hear it.

Aaaaaaand so, after some discussion, Dan and I decided to adopt them! We'd been thinking about a dog, but aren't really ready to put that amount of work into a pet, and cats... are easier than fish. Plus, they can keep each other company while we're at work or when we go away. And we get to have furballs! Everybody wins.

Then on Saturday night, we saw The Hangover, which was absurdly funy.

Seriously, go see it. I laughed my ass off.

And then it was off to Westchester for our third wedding of the summer. After a lovely ceremony and an insane cocktail hour spread (Chinese food station, seafood station, cheese and veggie station, caviar station, American food station, martini station... oh wait, that was the bar...) Dan declared himself way full and then proceeded to eat all of his sit-down dinner, which was not a light meal.

Oh and he ate all of the dessert ice cream and meringue thing, too. Actually, he ate all of it AND all of Justin's.

Weddings are great. And it was kind of nice that it was from two to eight - by 9:30 we were back in Brooklyn, ready to watch True Blood*, sober up, and get to bed early. Perfect!

Yeah... this was near the end of the open bar...

Mazel tov!

*You guys, I'm a little worried about Lafayette in vampire jail.

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

Some of my not-really-employed-right-now friends (three future b-school students; one teacher) are taking a road trip. These particular friends... like to party.

As Dan put it, after they described their plan in loving details, "they are going to have such a great time."

"Yeah, it's going to be..."

"Sloppy."

"Yes."

Hear all about their sloppiness and keep a running tally of how many times Jul gets carded at their road trip blog! Once they prove that they will actually update this blog, I'll add it to the links (I just cleaned house on the ne'er updated blogs, except for Adventures in Chains, which is ancient but sometimes I like to re-read!).

More Kittenage

They've discovered the outdoors!

Happenings

HAIR was amazing.  You could tell that the cast really gelled and trusted one another, and that every one of them, even if they only had a few lines, was absurdly talented.  Plus they get naked at one point, and duh, they're in great shape.  At the end of the show the cast invites the audience to come dance on stage, and Dan and I did.  It was thrilling!  To dance around under the lights, on a Broadway stage, with an audience giving you that crazy energy... it was bittersweet.  I realized that was the first time I've been onstage in five years, and it hit me with a lot of intensity.  I'm satisfied with my choice to leave performing, but man, I miss it.  Performing is better than any vice I can think of; my mom used to say that the only time I seemed fully awake was when I was in costume.

But even if you aren't a wistful former actress, I am confident that you'll enjoy it too!

Off to New Haven for Dan's reunion.  Hopefully there'll be fewer "you and [insert name of ex] getting it on" jokes than there were at mine.  Awkward.

Wedding Season: Part One, cont.

How do you freak out your boyfriend, make a fool of yourself, and look as desperate as possible in a society-approved manner while still having great fun?

You go to a wedding and participate in the bouquet toss!

According to Wikipedia, this time-honored tradition:

Whoaaaaaaaaa.  There's no wikipedia entry!  WTF?!

So, on to the pictures.  This was at Carlie's wedding.  Ordinarily, I am way too cool for the bouquet toss, but I was five drinks deep and they were playing "Single Ladies."  How could I resist?

Here I am, pretending to just dance along to Beyonce, pretending I couldn't care less who catches the flowers.  As you can see, I am a fabulous dancer.

Continuing to dance as Carlie does several fake-out tosses.  Apparently, Carlie was a mean softball player back in the day, and you could tell.

This picture was staged.  Remind me not to fall for these staged pictures in the future; it's like on 30 Rock when Jenna warns Liz not to touch the props. 

Okay, it's time for the throw...

Throwing...

It's flying...

It's coming right at me........................

AND I CAUGHT IT!

You have to understand that I have never caught a thing in my life.  I have the hand-eye coordination of a four-day-old.  But it came right at me!  My competition never even had a chance!  What can I say, I was excited.

Here you can see the other girls fake-smiling for me, like an American Idol runner-up.  Sorry, ladies!  At least Carlie was happy for me.

And then I went and shoved it in Dan's face.  I think the most excitement from this whole thing came from our moms.

Update: Knotted, Polka-Dotted/ Twisted, Beaded, Braided...

Dan got us tickets to HAIR tonight!  (my love for this musical explained here).

I'm so excited.  Sometimes when I listen to it on the subway, I get teary-eyed.  Is that weird?

Also, I'm way more excited for JoAnne Akalitis's Bacchae than I am for Annie Hathaway in Twelfth Night?  I think I'm over Twelfth Night, guys.  It's cute and all, but after seeing it in every possible iteration (except, come to think of it, its traditional written setting), I think I'm done.

Illness

Ugh I've been sick this week.  Being sick is so annoying!  Especially when you're just well enough to go to work and your co-worker is on vacation, so you go to work and spread germs while making multiple stupid mistakes because you can barely remember your phone number.  Blegh.

Also, I've decided that Celine Dion is kind of awesome.  Woman has a ridiculous voice, is very happy with her ancient husband, and I feel like most people stopped ragging on her after seeing Celine Dion: Behind the Music (same with Shania.  Dude, Shania had it rough.  Although I did recently give one of her albums a re-listen, and man, that is some nondescript 90s shit).  I don't care that she insisted her Vegas theater be specially humidified, or got married in cathedral wearing a papal-esque headdress.  When you sell out your Vegas theater every night for five years, I think you get to regulate its air quality.

Here she is, performing "That's The Way It Is" in Boston, oh lord, ten freakin' years ago.  I am so unhappy that so many of my pop culture loves are now over a decade old.  Example: I've been listening to No Doubt since NINETEEN NINETY-SIX.  This means I have been a No Doubt fan for THIRTEEN YEARS.  That is WEIRD.

(Also weird is my intense affinity for ND songs, and the way serve as a fairly accurate chart of my inner life.  Eighth grade: "Just a Girl" essentially speaks to my psyche in every possible way and I wear out my cassette tape of Tragic Kingdom, one of the two cassettes that I actually owned.  High school: Return of Saturn.  A little darker, a little broodier, as was I.  College: the uber-upbeat Rock Steady, which I listened to in my car for three straight months, thinking to myself, "I am SO HAPPY!  I am IN LOVE!  FINALLY!  I KNOW WHO I AM!  I just wanna DANCE!" and then Gwen's solo album, which accompanied me on my Drive of Independence towards the west coast: "take a chance, you stupid ho/ life is short, you're capable" indeed.  It ended with Sweet Escape, though, which kind of sucked.  Are they coming out with a new album now, or are they just touring?  And what kind of music would go with my current life mood of basically "things are pretty calm but no complaints; how weird is it that I'm almost completely a grown-up?"?).  

Anyway, here's the video.  I might deny all of this when I'm feeling better.