Epic STD

Epic STD = Superhero Chlamydia?  No, no, not that kind of STD.  A save-the-date.  You know, those postcards or magnets-that-don't-hold-anything-to-the-fridge that engaged couples send to their friends, and then (if the engaged couple is lucky) their friends put them up on their refrigerators and cease pestering said engaged couple for their wedding date and where's the closest hotel again?  We did save-the-date thingies and they were pretty cool.  My sister drew cartoons of our cats.  But THIS COUPLE went to the extreme.  I was hanging out with Smash last night when we found it, fully preparing to mock and mock and mock it without mercy, but soon realized we couldn't.  Sometimes things are just awesome.  Check it out.

Controversy!

Sometimes, here at MV:TB, a post touches a raw nerve in the blog-reading public.  Whether it's a post praying for a former classmate's weight gain, or pointing out the weird, automaton expressions of Justice John G. Roberts's family at his first press conference, or publishing a strange email I got from Josh Berkowitz in 2005, these posts are of the most random variety.  As it turns out, my vivid account of defriending Justin DiVenuta is such a post.  Published close to a year ago, I still get comments.  A sample:

-What a DUDE.

-You got him pegged to a tee!


-...Justin is a manipulator...he is a complete douche and thinks the entire world revolves around him....when he doesn't get his way he blows up in rage like a little child.


- --you pinned him to a tee...


-he thinks he can manipulate and get over on women..but little does he know that in most cases he's the one being manipulated for what ever reason..you made a smart choice by not being friends with him...Black as coal heart he has!


-...i have dated Justin...thou i hate to admit it....didn't know him then and so i see he was the same pompous ass that he is today...


And then, from this morning:

-hes gorgeous i know him from my friends by cunt


I've never known anyone to sign their comments with an actual byline, but if that's how you want to refer to yourself, anonymous commenter, go for it!  Reclamation!

What can we learn from all this?  First, that J. Di is Googled a lot.  Aw.  He probably likes that.  Second, that perhaps these commenters think I have a big beef with Mr. Muscles?  I really don't.  I knew the guy - peripherally - eleven years ago.  I just thought it was weird that he decided to rekindle our wisp of a friendship with an aggressive roid-fueled wall post about ACC basketball.  Okay?  I believe you that he's gorgeous, "by cunt."  So go!  Go into his giant arms, and enjoy!  Just don't mention the Blue Devils; it doesn't bring out his best.

When In Rome

I want to be excited about this movie.  Kristen Bell is adorable!  Josh Duhamel is dreamy!  Italy is involved!

And it looks TERRIBLE.

#2

Since I'll be married soon, it's vital that I complete my List.  You know what I mean.  The five free pass celebrities (or in my case... fictional characters).  Obviously, the #1 slot is reserved for Tim Riggins.

Hi Tim!

I love you!

The rest is totally in flux.  The usual suspects/last few People's Sexiest Man Alive nominees are kind of too old (Brad, George... eh).  Matt Damon is married with kids: not sexy.  But after an endless search and much painful ogling, I finally found an occupant for slot #2: Captain Awesome.

Even in my shitty screenshot from Chuck he looks great.  Eagle-eyed readers will also remember Captain Awesome (I don't actually care about this enough to look up his real name) as the dude Betty banged in a restroom on Mad Men, described in an interview by MM creator Matthew Weiner as "the most handsome man in the world."

He should probably have his own superhero movie.

Congratulations Captain Awesome!  I hope that when I do eventually visit your IMDB page, you don't turn out to be gay.

New Badness

New foster kittens at the Jersey Homestead:

My sister has named them Pauly D, Mike "The Situation", Vinny, and Ron-Ron.  I die.

Table Numbers

I made table numbers to tell people where to sit for The Event.  Because I know that most all all (except for the engaged girls) of the people will glance at the table numbers for like two seconds and then never think about them again, I force them on you here!

They're just pictures of me and Dan on some of our various travels with large numbers and cutesy hearts.    I ordered them as photos and will put them in frames.  Easy peasy.

Those lucky enough to sit at table seven will be treated to our 2007 rendition of "My Doorbell" as The White Stripes.  (Does Park Slope count as traveling?  Um... sure!).

High school friends of Dan's are surely praying to be seated at table ten, an homage to their hometown:

Hawaii fans will love sitting at table three!

Several numbers depict The Greatest Trip of All Time:

And finally, because obvs we'll be at table one, I took some extra license with the schmoopie hearts:

What, you want to see more?  Too bad!  You'll have to wait for the big day!  (Unless you aren't invited.  It's a small guest list, sorry.  Or if you're one of my turncoat former friends going to someone else's wedding that day instead.  Don't worry, I'll forgive you.  Eventually).

(Maybe).

Lost

If you're like me, and maybe you are and maybe you aren't, but if you are, you excitedly watch each new season of Lost for three weeks or so and then lose interest until next season, and have been doing so since 2006.  By the time the new season rolls around a year and a half later, you have little recollection of anything that's happened since it turned out that Henry's really Ben.

(Fun fact: the actor who plays Ben is married to the actress who plays Arlene on True Blood.  Who looks completely different with blonde hair:

--- and who, I just realized, played the interior decorator who marries Miranda's houseguest on season two of SATC and then makes her man the guestbook!  Great episode).

ANYWAY, I'm planning (as always) to watch the final season next month, so spoilerific catch-up videos like these are immensely helpful:

Watching six years worth of Lost in eight minutes really illuminates how little sense it makes.  I think I just like that it's set in Hawaii.