Fall TV

The upfronts recently wrapped, and next season there will be new shows on TV.  I will watch all of them (it's my job!) at least once or twice, and several will become staples... but to make room on the DVR, other shows will have to go.  My candidates so far...

Gossip Girl

The first half of this season was AWESOME.  The second half... not so much.  Now that they're introducing a con woman with a dual identity into the main cast and (apparently) a pregnancy plotline, it might be time to go.

The Office

Who am I kidding?  I'll tune in for the first few episodes.  But more and more lately, watching has felt like a chore.

Top Chef

This one hurts.  It hurts a lot.  But do I really need to watch a show in its eighth season?  Especially when the last two have been more or less meh?

Fringe

Another show with Gossip Girl Syndrome - twelve absolutely ass-kicking episodes in the fall led to twelve more kind of stupid episodes in the spring.  

Glee

Yeah, I said I was stopping before.  Then I kind of got sucked back in.  Next season I'm going cold turkey.

The Good Wife

Hahahahahahahah I will never stop watching TGW.

And finally, the last show I will not be watching this fall is Mad Men, because there will be no new episodes until TWENTY-TWELVE.  What?!  Why?!  What ever else will I possibly watch until then?  Ah yes - everything else.

My Bro Graduated!

Congratulations, Matt!

More to write about the whole weekend, but it will have to wait for now.

Katniss!

Not to brag or anything, but I read The Hunger Games ages ago and have been shoving people onto the bandwagon ever since (go buy it right now if you haven't.  It's a YA novel; they cost like nine bucks and take ninety minutes to read.  DO IT).  And now it's going to be a movie!  With Jennifer Lawrence!  And this picture is pretty spot-on, yes it is!

Yes, it is totes Photoshopped to the point of looking animated, but the hair!  the eyes!  the pin!  Suck it, teenagers who felt Jennifer Lawrence was "too blonde" for the role - I watched Winter's Bone recently, and if anyone's going to play a tough teenager willing to kill or be killed for her family, it's her.

Spoke Too Soon

Remember how I made fun of Goop's $785 maxi dress?

It's sold out.

Oh Goop, Goop, Goop

My love-hate-headsmacking relationship with GOOP continues.  (and yes, all of the below images are stolen from there.  WHATEVER).

This week, Gwyneth is sharing her picks for your spring wardrobe, and helpfully includes links to Net-A-Porter "in honor of a friend who asked that we make the GET clothing ideas easier to purchase." I'm not sure this "friend" meant links to a $1,295 clutch bag, but on the other hand, the "friend" is probably Beyonce, so... maybe.

Continuing: easy clothing solutions for everyday wear.

Dig up your denim skirt from eighth grade and wear it to work!

(J/K.  That skirt is $515. Wha... you guys...  I... moving on.  I do like that satchel).

Take your $455 blazer to the beach!

(Okay, I will give her the abs.  The abs are good.  IT WORKED, GWYNETH.  I'M LOOKING AT YOUR ABS).

Spring is all about celebrating Miami Vice in your daily life, because nothing says "I miss Don Johnson" like a boxy blazer over a nightgown.  Maybe she's sad NBC passed on his Shampoo pilot?

But here's the thing: even as I mock that stupid $785 rayon maxi dress, I am simultaneously thinking, "huh, didn't Jane Feltes recommend something like this from the Anthropologie sale section on The Hairpin last week?  Maybe I should check that out," and then I do and seriously consider buying it but fortunately - because otherwise, I would've done it; Gwyneth and Jane told me to! - they're out of my size.

And then there's this.

Listen.  I get that GP is a movie star married to a rock star and the progeny of a filthy rich producer.  Baby Gwyneth probably wore Armani onesies.  But the suggested retail value for the above four items totals $4,275.  And the amusing/depressing part is that this look is the one easiest to recreate with sixty bucks at Beacon's Closet.  A dude's old blazer over a Forever 21 print dress: it is not hard.  So why must we make it high-end and expensive?  Gwyneth!  Stop pretending to be like us!  You're not good at it!

When Dan's Away

Dan's out of town this week, so my original plan for these six days was to:

• Slowly and then suddenly cover the living room floor with socks and underwear.
• Spend kind of a lot of time with the cats.
• Bring home a stack of stand-up DVDs from work that I was supposed to screen two months ago, and then leave them in my purse while sitting rapt in front of a Bethenny Ever After marathon.
• Kill the better part of a bottle of white wine by myself, likely while watching said BEA marathon.
• Lather, rinse, repeat.

Oh, how wrong I was!

More Fun With Fotoshop

The weirdly enhanced view from our hotel in Sevilla.

Can't Stop Listening to This

Does this mean I should be an Adele fan, a John Legend fan, or both?  What have I been listening to over the past year?

Sorry, Ladies

But first, an apology to the gents: Jen is off the market, my friends!  George emailed her friends and family last week:

This is it.  Friday I'm getting down on one knee and asking Jen for her hand in marriage.  I would love for you all to share this special moment in our lives with us.  I've reserved a space at The Turtle Club here in Hoboken to celebrate after I pop the question... 

Eeeeeee!

George's email didn't mention the paparazzi/child molesters he'd have capturing the whole thing:

(but seriously, how would you, as a hypothetical parent, feel seeing these guys hang out with cameras right by a playground?)

The Octopus Lives

There has been some excellent Photoshopping going on this week.

Cinco de Osama's Dead

Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo AND the US recently captured and killed Osama bin Laden, so you know what that means: shrimp tacos.

image source from Virginia Willis's blog, which has a really interesting post on going out on a Georgia shrimping boat.

Let's make this delicious treat.