Santa Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Dennis semi-recently became obsessed with Broadway musicals.  Last night, he got us last-minute tickets to Newsies.

While yes, ok, I'm a bit of a theater snob and I really recommend you go see Nina Arianda take her star-making turn in Venus in Fur before it closes in June... I loved this freaking show.  I'm not sure how you couldn't.  Those ragtag street urchins can dance, dammit!  No really; it's ridiculous.  You should probably see it.  There's a ticket lottery 2 hours before each show that's not particularly hard to win - you'll get okay (near the front, off to the side - technically partial view but you're so close it doesn't matter) seats for $30 (!).  And then, when the show ends (SPOILER: it all works out) and you're like, awwwww, I could've watched those boys dance all night, they come out and do a completely superfluous dance number before the curtain call!  Newsies 4vr!

Freechicken

People in NYC are too cool and proud to ask for someone else's secondhand freechicken, even though they all would gladly eat it.

-Dennis Kwan, 2012 

Dennis and I go gallery-hopping, eat a pre-owned dinner .

Beyumblr

Beyonce is on Tumblr now.

Rachel:  btw in one of the videos

SHE'S FLYING IN COACH CLASS

HOW DARE OUR QUEEN DO THAT!

 me:  what is wrong with us as a society that we would allow such a thing

I kind of want to be on Tumblr, but it looks exhausting.

Green Salsa

Did you volunteer to bring chips and salsa to a barbecue out of laziness and then realize that every guest at this barbecue is an insufferable food snob who will look down on a jar from the deli?  I didn't either, but I live in fear of the day I do, and when that day comes, I will be ready with tomatillo salsa.  I once made this when I had to leave the house in fifteen minutes and still hadn't showered (that specific method, below).

6 tomatillos

1/2 a white onion

1 jalapeno (or half of it, if you are weak)

2 garlic cloves

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup water

1/2 a lime, to taste

giant handful of cilantro, chopped.

Pull the husks off the tomatillos and rinse them in a panicked frenzy.  Cut into quarters and throw into a blender.  Cut the onion and jalapeno into a couple of pieces and chuck into the blender as well; then rub your eyes in a moment of distraction and spend several precious minutes flushing them out with water (optional).  Roughly chop the garlic and add that to the blender too, before blearily pouring in the water.  COVER THE BLENDER and then hit puree.  Watch as your ingredients turns into a rather loose and smooth green liquid, resembling something you'd drink on a BluePrint cleanse.  Pour the salsa into a saucepan over medium heat, bring to a simmer, adjust the heat to medium-low, and set a timer for twelve minutes.  Then bring that timer into the bathroom, set it on the counter, and take a shower.  Finish your shower before the timer goes off!  When that happens, run into the kitchen, turn off the heat, pour the salsa into a bowl, stick it in the freezer, and go dry your hair.  Once you're all beautified the salsa should be relatively cool.  Stir in the cilantro and some lime juice.  Add more salt if it's not zippy enough.  Seal that container - or, for a dash of added whimsy, into an empty Tostitos salsa container you originally planned on storing jewelry in - and go to your barbecue!  Don't forget to buy chips on the way.

Image from Pinch My Salt