All those nasty things I said about Roberts this week, I take it back, I take it back, I take it all back.
Mostly.
6.28.2012
6.27.2012
Sad
Seems as good a time as any to print out my favorite Nora Ephron New Yorker articles (ie, all of them). This would ordinarily be unremarkable, because I reread her stuff all the time. I'm very sad that there won't be more of it. I didn't even know she was sick! Which sounds so ridiculous; was she supposed to call me? "Meghan, hi, I hear you like my writing. I just want you to prepare yourself..." No. But I admire her greatly and I'll miss that squeal I could always let out when I saw her name in a table of contents.
6.26.2012
Blaaaaarrrghhhhhhh
The last days of a Supreme Court term rarely show off the Justices to great advantage. Like other mortals, they have put off doing their hardest work, so only the most controversial cases remain. They are tired. They are frustrated. By a vote of 6-3, they need haircuts. (Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elena Kagan appear recently barbered; Stephen Breyer is bald.) But none of the usual end-of-year excuses explain the behavior in court yesterday of Antonin Scalia.-Jeffrey Toobin, continuing in his quest to convince me to burn the Supreme Court to the ground. I haven't finished an article of his in a while because I tend to drop the magazine at the two-thirds mark, my hands quaking with warm, slippery rage.
The Supreme Court hears what, twenty cases a year? It is THE EASIEST JOB ON EARTH. Yeah, you have to be really smart. I think the selection committee checks to see if you went to your high school prom, and if you were able to find a date, 'yer out (John Roberts excepted: you just know that guy was student body president). But mostly, you sit around, you ask some snotty questions (or not, Clarence Thomas), you deny sexually harrassing your staff (Clarence Thomas), you vote, and you have your overqualified clerks write an opinion. Oh my Goooooooooooood they must be soooooooooooo tiiiiiiiiiiiiired.
I used to admire the Supreme Court, but I'm pretty sure they haven't done anything good for the country since 1973. Now it seems like a playground for Thomas and Scalia to apply theoretical principles from the Constitution to a country that needs much more. Kennedy's the yard monitor who says yes or no.
Also disheartening is that justices have life terms, and my sneaking suspicion that John Roberts is going to live forever.
6.25.2012
The Newsroom
Having worked for three months five years ago as a temporary production assistant on a show on CNBC, I feel uniquely and thoroughly qualified to tell you everything that's right and wrong with The Newsroom, HBO's latest new show/Aaron Sorkin's attempt to get us to believe journalism can still be good. Real or not real? Read on.
Will has a public meltdown and people care for more than fifteen seconds.
He's not Brian Williams, guys. No one pays attention if Chris Matthews yells at someone.
Allison Pill and Thomas Sadoski are dating, and Allison Pill is super paranoid that someone in HR will find out and she'll be fired.
Cable news is second only to university student-run musical theater groups in terms of incestuousness. It's high pressure and creates lots of moments for intense bonding; plus, no one ever leaves the building. Where else are you going to meet someone?
Thomas Sadoski is a passive-aggressive dick to his girlfriend and she puts up with it.
Ugh, true. Dump him, Allison. He's not even wearing an undershirt.
The network head hires the anchor's old flame as his new executive producer without consulting said anchor.
I don't know if this is real or not. Probably not, but EPs get hired for weird reasons. Ours was only 33, and depending on who you ask, was hired because a) she'd had an affair with the head of the news division, or b) she had a unique ability to get our notoriously distractable anchor to do what he needed. Probably a combination of the two.
Mackenzie, mentioned above, immediately promotes Allison Pill from assistant to associate producer because of her loyalty.
Kind of real. I mean, the actual conversation was unlikely, but the promotion process in cable news is byzantine. The fastest way up the ladder is being one of the only people around to climb it.
Mackenzie instantly gets inappropriately involved in the romantic lives of her staff.
True!
Will does not know his assistant's name.
I buy him not knowing anyone else's name, but there is NO WAY he doesn't know the name of his assistant. He would forget the name of his wife before his assistant. What else is he going to yell at her to get him his coffee?
Will is apparently dating Erin Andrews.
Yeah right.
Will does not where his control room is.
True.
Will is kind of an asshole.
True.
John Gallagher, Jr. shows up and DOES NOT burst into song.
I guess this is true, but that doesn't mean I'm not upset about it.
The more sympathetic members of the newsroom staff reveal unparalled expertise on ocean floor geology approximately twelve seconds after the Deepwater Horizon explodes.
Most people who go into cable news are not physical science majors. I'm just saying.
The network head wanders the hallways in a bow tie, carrying a bottle of Scotch.
I wish that one were true.
John Gallagher, Jr. looks sad when Allison Pill/Margaret leaves with her awful boyfriend instead of dumping the rube and dating him instead, after knowing her for six hours.
Aw, I hope this would be true. Sorry. I love John Gallagher, Jr. Did you see him in Spring Awakening? Squee! He's the cutest!
Overall, I thought the show was entertaining. Yes, I let out a giant groan during the uber-earnest West Wing style opening credits, but Emily Mortimer is pretty lovable as Mackenzie and the "recent past" setting works against odds. Will Olivia Munn's entrance as a Money Honey wreck it all next week? Time will tell.
Will has a public meltdown and people care for more than fifteen seconds.
He's not Brian Williams, guys. No one pays attention if Chris Matthews yells at someone.
Allison Pill and Thomas Sadoski are dating, and Allison Pill is super paranoid that someone in HR will find out and she'll be fired.
Cable news is second only to university student-run musical theater groups in terms of incestuousness. It's high pressure and creates lots of moments for intense bonding; plus, no one ever leaves the building. Where else are you going to meet someone?
Thomas Sadoski is a passive-aggressive dick to his girlfriend and she puts up with it.
Ugh, true. Dump him, Allison. He's not even wearing an undershirt.
The network head hires the anchor's old flame as his new executive producer without consulting said anchor.
I don't know if this is real or not. Probably not, but EPs get hired for weird reasons. Ours was only 33, and depending on who you ask, was hired because a) she'd had an affair with the head of the news division, or b) she had a unique ability to get our notoriously distractable anchor to do what he needed. Probably a combination of the two.
Mackenzie, mentioned above, immediately promotes Allison Pill from assistant to associate producer because of her loyalty.
Kind of real. I mean, the actual conversation was unlikely, but the promotion process in cable news is byzantine. The fastest way up the ladder is being one of the only people around to climb it.
Mackenzie instantly gets inappropriately involved in the romantic lives of her staff.
True!
Will does not know his assistant's name.
I buy him not knowing anyone else's name, but there is NO WAY he doesn't know the name of his assistant. He would forget the name of his wife before his assistant. What else is he going to yell at her to get him his coffee?
Will is apparently dating Erin Andrews.
Yeah right.
Will does not where his control room is.
True.
Will is kind of an asshole.
True.
John Gallagher, Jr. shows up and DOES NOT burst into song.
I guess this is true, but that doesn't mean I'm not upset about it.
The more sympathetic members of the newsroom staff reveal unparalled expertise on ocean floor geology approximately twelve seconds after the Deepwater Horizon explodes.
Most people who go into cable news are not physical science majors. I'm just saying.
The network head wanders the hallways in a bow tie, carrying a bottle of Scotch.
I wish that one were true.
John Gallagher, Jr. looks sad when Allison Pill/Margaret leaves with her awful boyfriend instead of dumping the rube and dating him instead, after knowing her for six hours.
Aw, I hope this would be true. Sorry. I love John Gallagher, Jr. Did you see him in Spring Awakening? Squee! He's the cutest!
Overall, I thought the show was entertaining. Yes, I let out a giant groan during the uber-earnest West Wing style opening credits, but Emily Mortimer is pretty lovable as Mackenzie and the "recent past" setting works against odds. Will Olivia Munn's entrance as a Money Honey wreck it all next week? Time will tell.
6.21.2012
Fly Better
GOOP has been so lame lately. Last week we learned how to make beds (really) and the week before it was her brother-in-law's apartment renovation. Yawn. We reached a new low this week with tips on flying.
I'm not sure Gwyneth understands the meaning of "bedraggled," (1.) as her hair looks pretty great (2.). Please note also the fancy first class seat (3.) and diamond ring the size of a Raffetto's mini ravioli (4.). The working life is hard.
The tips, however, are life-changing! Tip numero uno: bring an iPod. An iPod! It's like an iPhone but it plays music. But doesn't an iPhone play music too? Maybe bring both to make sure. But you also need to bring these things called "headphones," they're like speakers for your ears and only you can hear out of them; they're really neat. You can also buy this thing, "moistalyzer" or "mosertightener"... I forget the exact word, but it's this goop (!) in a jar or a tube and you put it on your skin. If you forget, your skin falls off.
It's equally important to metallize yourself (5., 6.). I'm not so sure about this one because I don't want Magneto having that kind of control over my body, but I guess if Magneto is on the plane it's going down anyway? Unless Professor X manages to levitate it and/or Storm creates some kind of wind cushion to keep everything afloat. Well, whatever, I bet everyone downs magnesium and sprays silver on themselves before they fly, so it's not like I'll be the only one.
Finally, being near normal people is gross, and regular hand sanitizer gives you polio, so protect yourself accordingly (7.). Thanks Gwyneth! I hope someday that I get to fly somewhere you recommend, and I will definitely spray high stability active silver everywhere to ensure I arrive safely.
Love,
mv
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