Answers When You Least Expect Them

In 2004, I interned at Time Out New York as a researcher. My boss was a food writer there, and now owns a few restaurants. "Oh, I just bought an apartment," I remember her saying. She was probably 26. I knew she was from Indiana, and was relatively certain that she wasn't a trust fund baby. Over the past ten years, I've wondered off and onhow she did it.

The apartment

Well, today I found out. In the newspaper, of all places.

Heather Tierney, a designer and restaurateur, recently accepted an offer at the full asking price of $450,000 for her Lower East Side loft, which has an income restriction of $63,072 for one person or $69,084 for two people. She bought the unit, a fifth-floor walk-up, 10 years ago for $299,500. “I was a writer for a magazine and I made no money,” she said.

Thanks to a good credit score and a borrowed down payment from a grandfather, she was able to qualify for an adjustable-rate mortgage. 

“When I first moved in, it was a lot of original tenants,” Ms. Tierney said. “Now it’s a bunch of young people — young professionals, young couples, mainly single people.”

Basically, there are these low-priced apartments in New York, the sales of which are regulated by the city. Buyers can only make up to a certain income, but must somehow also have a significant amount of cash available for the down payment. This is hard to do.

I knew Heather was smart (the restaurant business is tough in New York, and hers are extremely successful), but this is a different plane of savviness. I bow down.

Serious Question: Was The Prom Dance in She's All That Inspired By The Rich Man's Frug From Sweet Charity?

I think yes.

Aw

Suz sent over this picture from Melissa's wedding in Colorado a couple of years ago... I never saw this one. So fun.

Plans I've Made, Inspired By Movies and TV

• When seeking revenge on another for an unspeakable act against my family, I will be satisfied by their gruesome death and deliver the final blow regardless of whether they admit their guilt.

• After shooting an intruder or pursuant, I will shoot them AGAIN before getting any closer.
• I will assume, when dealing with a counter-terrorism agent, that there is a 50-70% chance that they are a mole.
• When a jittery, formerly trusted friend or family member tells me to get out of town and don't talk to anyone, I will be like, "Yes! Of course!" and THEN, safely out of earshot, call the rest of my loved ones to tell them to do the same. 
• When asked if anyone else knows what I know, I will say YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES and deliver a ruse about everything being in a safety deposit box to be opened upon my death or disappearance.
• When asked to delete all records of my interactions with someone while standing near an oncoming subway, I will say absolutely not and if you take one step closer I'm emailing screenshots of these texts to Matt Drudge.
• If my government comes to me asking for help, because I am the only one who can save us all, I will smile sympathetically and shut the door.