Things I Have That I Do NOT Love: Baby Edition

There are a lot of dumb baby products out there. Here are a few of them.

Ergo Baby Infant Insert

In theory, this insert allows you to carry your baby in the Ergo Baby 360 Carrier before the age of 4 months. In actuality, this insert will make your baby scream constant bloody murder until you just hold him in your arms, contemplating why you registered for that stupid carrier in the first place. Just wait until he can hold his head up before using a carrier; things will improve.

Also, I don't know why they needed to use an emaciated yoga model for the instructional video (above). She's supposed to have a newborn, guys!

The Puj Tub

Oh my God, the fucking Puj tub. You know how when you bring your newborn home from the hospital, their bones are still soft and their heads aren't their regular shape yet and doing anything besides holding them is terrifying? Try bathing your precious, soft-skinned lump of baby in the sink using this piece of foam that folds into a bathtub shape and then KEEPS FALLING APART WHEN YOU PUT YOUR INFANT IN IT. Even when you figure out that the Puj tub may only be used in a small, oval sink, you realize that it must also be used with the water running. Running water that can change temperature at any second! That you will now have to keep your hand under throughout the entire bath in case it suddenly gets very hot, which is entirely possible!

Buy the much cheaper, much uglier, much bulkier - but much less panic-inducing - First Years tub instead.

Car Seat Canopy

For some reason, it was really impressed on me that we needed one of these. The Car Seat Canopy retails for a hilarious $50 (!), and even though I got this one for free, I feel ripped off. It's just a piece of fabric that slides off to the side of the car seat any time there's wind. Wind that the canopy is there to block.

Baby Shoes

We actually don't have any of these; I just wanted to remind you that babies can't walk.