Dinner Partee

Some friends and I have a "Food Group," where we rotate hosting meals of deliciousness and just hang out every month or so. It's my turn to host this Saturday. I volunteered thinking it would be a great way to break in my new kitchen with a forgiving crowd (let's say that they won't care about drinking wine from commemorative Comedy Central Roast of Joan Rivers stemless champagne glasses).

There are only six of us, so at first I was totally confident. I can do dinner for six in my sleep. Sorry to brag, guys, but it's true. So I would up the ante and cook from the French Laundry Cookbook. The FLC is full of insanely complicated four-star recipes from the famed restaurant, like "Ashed Chevreaux with Slow-Roasted Yellow and Red Beets and Red Beet Vinaigrette," or "Spotted Skate Wing with Braised Red Cabbage and Mustard Sauce." Or at the very least, I could theme it all like a Maine fish shack and make fried oysters with lobster rolls and a delicious vinegar-based coleslaw with ice cream sundaes for dessert, right?!

Then I remembered that oh yeah, Dan lives here (add one guest). And that my BFF and her BF are in town and would be able to come (add two). And that Panicky has a houseguest who, for some reason, she isn't planning to leave alone in her apartment (add another!). So that's ten people. Which in terms of fun is great… but as I barely have enough forks for ten, I don't think I can do a multi-course plated dinner including Ashed Chevreaux with Slow-Roasted Yellow and Red Beets and Red Beet Vinaigrette. I deeeefinitely don't have enough cash for double-digit lobster rolls.

New plan.

So, of course: Ina.

Ina Garten, I love you. I love your books. Thank you for quitting your White House nuclear energy job to concentrate on a specialty food empire. Dan thanks you as well, even if he doesn't know it. Thanks to her generous portion sizes and super-easy, ridiculously well-tested techniques, I will make tzatziki and parmesan-thyme crackers and maybe polenta and not feel bad about asking Panicky to bring the panzanella. I will have an effortless dinner party for ten!

Assuming we get nine more chairs by Saturday.